I like you, I like you not. I like you, I like you not. No I'm not talking about a person in my life. I'm talking about Sundays. Recently, one of my friends said to me "It seems like you feel bad every Sunday!" Sadly, she was right. But it's not that Sunday is any special day. It's just a day that I'm out in public, on a set schedule, and not wearing my oh-so-comfortable MSU sweatpants (sorry to all of you UofM people out there). You would think that having a schedule would make you feel less worried and therefore relaxed, but in the world of IC that is not the case. To have a schedule adds stress, and when you add stress it's like adding a flame under a pot of water. It'll just keep heating up and rumbling until it eventually boils over. And it's not that this doesn't happen any other day, it's just that on Sundays I am not in my house all by myself and able to deal with it like I normally do. And I just never know on any given Sunday what level of pain, if any, there is going to be.
Why do I keep subjecting myself to this unknown week after week? Because I get to talk to other adults. Because I get to, hopefully, encourage others. Because I love getting to teach the little kids about the Bible. And because I love being able to worship God and delve into the Bible with other believers. I may have to take a nap when I get home, or I may have to sit in the back in the comfortable chairs because the pews are making the pain worse, but I will keep going to, serving at, worshiping in and enjoying church on Sundays. I love the group of believers that God has placed us with right now, and I would never put more stress on somebody else by "calling in sick" because that would not be fair to them. And I would miss them all too much. Even though it can cause me pain to step out from my norm it is such an encouragement to see all those smiling faces every week. So I will continue to go every week, hoping that I will not only get encouragement but be an encouragement to someone myself.
Julie, Hi. :-D I find it kind of surprising that I can relate again. You've articulated some of my same struggles with Sundays; I just didn't know how to explain it. Anyway. We are to live one day at a time, trusting in Him, relying on Him. I wake up most Sunday mornings not knowing if I can make it to church (I always feel awful every morning) - but when I go I AM BEYOND BLESSED. Then I think, "Why would I even question coming? I should ALWAYS want to come!" Can you relate?? ;-D So thanks again for sharing your personal struggles. You've been a blessing to me already, girl! ~Kelsie
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